The week started at a wonderrfffuuulll note :) :) :)
I had my aunt (mausi) and uncle coming over at my place after a loonng time.. So had lotsa fun with them..
Apart from that, I had a lovely Monday morning :)
I distinctly remember feeling very pleased and content as I stepped out that morning and I exclaimed- "What a nice, fine morning it is". Needless to say that set the pace for the day and the events that followed were really beautiful :)
But the next day, i.e Tuesday, it was a bit different. It wasn't that anything untoward had happened to me, but it was just that I was feeling peaceful within and in a sublime state of mind. It remained so for the first few hours. In this period, I seldom talked and did none of my goof-ups which I usually do. But later I tried to forcibly carry that somber mood. And, since that wasn't my natural state of mind it kinda backfired. Feeling of resentment and frustration had slowly began to take over. I went home, took a nice nap and then it felt as if everything was fine. I did my routine work, but something wasn't right. I had some minor health issues and I ignored them too.
Then today I guess the bubble finally burst. Was not in too much of a contemplative mood I say. But again, in order to appear as a composed and a more mature individual, I tried to wear the visage of calmness. As, I truly believe (and I am sure, many of my readers too) a man's thoughts are reflected in his/her environment.
Your circumstances are just a mirror of what you are feeling. I returned early, studied a bit, took a nap (the mundane things). And then I switched on the PC. The artificial me had carried a bit too far now.
Suddenly, out of nowhere a person's status (no people, that person is not my "crush" or "best friend") just absolutely disrupted me. He is a person, who seldom updates his status, is a good friend of mine and the status was the perfect kind which pushes me into my periodic spells of incessant thinking and worrying; completely lost my (self-presumed) good mood all of a sudden.
Then I realized, that the real reason for it wasn't that guy, to be truthful the status has no mention of me, and the poor chap wasn't even thinking about me while posting it. No, not even my OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) of too much thinking had much to do with it. But it was because I wasn't my usual self. I was trying to be someone who I am not. By doing this, not only was I not feeling good myself, but also giving vibes to people around me that either something is wrong with me or the person looking like Jayant is not like me at all, but someone like an impostor.. Consequently, I attracted those situations to myself..
The bottom-line of this rant is- We all dislike something or the other about ourselves and try to change it. But we seldom realize that people who love us will love us nonetheless (I hate clarifying again and again, but the love I mentioned just now isn't strictly about the boy-girl kind) By not being ourselves, we deny the fact that we are good and lovable. Now, you only tell me who would love a person who doesn't like himself??
Just be yourself, try not to hurt others but never ever try to "act" as someone who you are not.. Getting rid of vices is one thing and 'trying' to become an epitome of mankind is another..
LOVE :)
--
J
I had my aunt (mausi) and uncle coming over at my place after a loonng time.. So had lotsa fun with them..
Apart from that, I had a lovely Monday morning :)
I distinctly remember feeling very pleased and content as I stepped out that morning and I exclaimed- "What a nice, fine morning it is". Needless to say that set the pace for the day and the events that followed were really beautiful :)
But the next day, i.e Tuesday, it was a bit different. It wasn't that anything untoward had happened to me, but it was just that I was feeling peaceful within and in a sublime state of mind. It remained so for the first few hours. In this period, I seldom talked and did none of my goof-ups which I usually do. But later I tried to forcibly carry that somber mood. And, since that wasn't my natural state of mind it kinda backfired. Feeling of resentment and frustration had slowly began to take over. I went home, took a nice nap and then it felt as if everything was fine. I did my routine work, but something wasn't right. I had some minor health issues and I ignored them too.
Then today I guess the bubble finally burst. Was not in too much of a contemplative mood I say. But again, in order to appear as a composed and a more mature individual, I tried to wear the visage of calmness. As, I truly believe (and I am sure, many of my readers too) a man's thoughts are reflected in his/her environment.
Your circumstances are just a mirror of what you are feeling. I returned early, studied a bit, took a nap (the mundane things). And then I switched on the PC. The artificial me had carried a bit too far now.
Suddenly, out of nowhere a person's status (no people, that person is not my "crush" or "best friend") just absolutely disrupted me. He is a person, who seldom updates his status, is a good friend of mine and the status was the perfect kind which pushes me into my periodic spells of incessant thinking and worrying; completely lost my (self-presumed) good mood all of a sudden.
Then I realized, that the real reason for it wasn't that guy, to be truthful the status has no mention of me, and the poor chap wasn't even thinking about me while posting it. No, not even my OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) of too much thinking had much to do with it. But it was because I wasn't my usual self. I was trying to be someone who I am not. By doing this, not only was I not feeling good myself, but also giving vibes to people around me that either something is wrong with me or the person looking like Jayant is not like me at all, but someone like an impostor.. Consequently, I attracted those situations to myself..
The bottom-line of this rant is- We all dislike something or the other about ourselves and try to change it. But we seldom realize that people who love us will love us nonetheless (I hate clarifying again and again, but the love I mentioned just now isn't strictly about the boy-girl kind) By not being ourselves, we deny the fact that we are good and lovable. Now, you only tell me who would love a person who doesn't like himself??
Just be yourself, try not to hurt others but never ever try to "act" as someone who you are not.. Getting rid of vices is one thing and 'trying' to become an epitome of mankind is another..
LOVE :)
--
J
Posts
Such stuff often happens with me, too.
ReplyDeleteWanna know a secret? I often feel that we love/like ourselves for a reason or some reasons. And the ones who love us don't love us for the same reason/s. Their reasons are different. And those reasons, we feel, aren't sufficient for us to love ourselves. Its contradictory. But I guess its true.