All of us have problems. Starting from our own selves to our parents, our friends, the CEO of a FORTUNE 500 companies, the grocer who sells you your vegetables to the guy who collects our garbage and so on.
My last post was about how to overcome it by losing yourself into work and blah blah and all that..
But before all that, wait a second. That one was just to make you feel better when you are not amongst the thick of things. What if the problem is related to your life? Something you have messed. It may be as petty a thing as getting less marks in a term exam or grave ones such as your girlfriend getting pregnant (and if it isnt coz of you, even a bigger problem ;) ) or maybe you are going through a hard time with people around you..
Almost invariably we blame the circumstances and then ourselves in such situations, the order may differ. After we have brooded & cried (generally for girls) a lot over it we tend to search for someone to console us. To lend us their shoulders to cry on, either literally or figuratively and then we turn to our friends, in some cases bf/gf, and a common term nowadays BFF (Best Friend Forever). But more often than not we find that instead of ameliorating, the problem seems to worsen. It seems that we have committed a blunder that even God will not forgive us. And then we do all kinds of stupid things like going into depression, trying to harm oneself and in rare cases- SUICIDE..
Why??? This case is NOT limited to only a single individual, almost all of us have suffered from these condition.. And then in disappointment we later blame those close ones for not having hung through our rough times..
Its been such a long post without development and you might be wondering, why is this guy ranting so much? Someone has rightly said that- Our problem is never really our problem. Our reaction to the problem is really our problem . Many of the problems are either entirely the creation of our mind or have been complicated by excessive thinking about them. I am not saying all problems are farce and non-sense. But almost 80% of them aren't as bad as we make them out to be.
My last post was about how to overcome it by losing yourself into work and blah blah and all that..
But before all that, wait a second. That one was just to make you feel better when you are not amongst the thick of things. What if the problem is related to your life? Something you have messed. It may be as petty a thing as getting less marks in a term exam or grave ones such as your girlfriend getting pregnant (and if it isnt coz of you, even a bigger problem ;) ) or maybe you are going through a hard time with people around you..
Almost invariably we blame the circumstances and then ourselves in such situations, the order may differ. After we have brooded & cried (generally for girls) a lot over it we tend to search for someone to console us. To lend us their shoulders to cry on, either literally or figuratively and then we turn to our friends, in some cases bf/gf, and a common term nowadays BFF (Best Friend Forever). But more often than not we find that instead of ameliorating, the problem seems to worsen. It seems that we have committed a blunder that even God will not forgive us. And then we do all kinds of stupid things like going into depression, trying to harm oneself and in rare cases- SUICIDE..
Why??? This case is NOT limited to only a single individual, almost all of us have suffered from these condition.. And then in disappointment we later blame those close ones for not having hung through our rough times..
Its been such a long post without development and you might be wondering, why is this guy ranting so much? Someone has rightly said that- Our problem is never really our problem. Our reaction to the problem is really our problem . Many of the problems are either entirely the creation of our mind or have been complicated by excessive thinking about them. I am not saying all problems are farce and non-sense. But almost 80% of them aren't as bad as we make them out to be.
Secondly, we try to negate our feelings. We believe its wrong to be hurt and broken and then try to act as if nothing has happend. We try to be STRONG.. Never even for once do we think of our poor heart which needs love.. NO NOT THAT GIRLFRIEND/BOYFRIEND LOVE which caused the problem in first place..
It needs our own love.. We need to reassure it, that all is fine..
We need to understand and accept the fact that it is OK to be hurt and we can always rise again.
Lastly, we are too dependent on others.. Ya, you heard it right. Its often the so called loved ones who complicate issues.. It doesnt mean that they dont love us, but neither can they hide behind the veneer - "Intentions were right but they didnt know how to express them." When a person is hurt, he/she doesnt need a solution. Even though several sources might tell you this applies only to girl, its my own experience that even a guy needs only someone to listen and console him when he is upset and not offer solutions.
But does this mean we remain alone and allow ourselves to fester ourselves?? Or do we go to our well intentioned but less equipped (to handle such situations) BFFs or whatever you call them.
This becomes a bit tricky here. The answer is NO to both.
The possible alternative is no quick fix solution but like all good things a gradual one- You'll have to identify the people in your life who are good at listening and don't judge. They might not be your BFF or ones whom you often hangout with but sometimes the people whom you never really considered to be Very close you.
You might have them in your life or may recognize them when you pass through tough times..
Had it been 20th century I would have safely suggested you to talk to your parents, but given the growing ambitions of the middle class parents. I don't think they are that much understanding now at the early stages of a problem.
Having said that I am lucky to have a parent who can listen to me without judging.. :)
If nothing works out then you always have the universal healer TIME- (no not the CAT coaching).. But sometimes if wounds are not treated early, they might leave deep scars.
Maybe I wasn't too precise and a tad too long in this one.. But, it was the best I could manage on such a complex topic
Hope it helps some people :)
LOVE
--
J
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It will.
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